I'll be there for you

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

- 1 Thessalonians 5:11 

I have several friends that have recently gone through some devastating events.

Some of these events may seem insignificant to others, but to my friends that are experiencing the event it is heart wrenching.

What can we do to help people that are suffering through illness, pain, loss, or challenge?

Don’t ever say “I know how you feel”, because you don’t.

I don’t care if you went through the exact same thing that I did, there is no way that you know how I feel.

When my brother died unexpectedly, several acquaintances responded with “I know how you feel, I lost this person or that.”

Ummm – no. 

When my young friend lost her husband in a motorcycle accident, people were comparing her loss to their divorce.

Oh HECK no!

Don’t ever say anything that starts with “at least”, because that belittles the emotion that they are experiencing.

If they lost a pet, don’t say “at least you can get another one”

Give them time to mourn their loss (and whatever you do, do NOT just give them a new pet of your choice – that is downright rude)

If they have been diagnosed with a medical disorder don’t say “at least it is not <insert life threatening disorder here>”

At the moment that they choose to disclose their devastation with you, they are not looking for you to tell them that it could be worse.

Furthermore, if someone is going through something terrible, they may not want your advice, they may just want to be heard.

God is very clear in His word that we need to encourage each other.

Be a good listener, be empathetic, ask if you can do anything for them (and follow through!!).

Sometimes people just want to know you are there, your mere presence comforts them.

Remind your friends that God’s mercy is great, and though we may not understand the “why” of what we are going through, one of my favorite quotes from the movie Soul Surfer fits very well here:

When Bethany began to cry over her missing arm, she said to her friend “how could this be God's plan for me? I don't understand.” To which her friend responded “I don't know why terrible things happen to us sometimes. But I have to believe that something good is going to come out of this.”

Believe that something good will come of the pain you experience.

Encourage one another and build one another up. Something good is going to come. 

Have a blessed day!