are you there?

Jesus said, “I am with you for only a short time, and then I am going to the one who sent me."

- John 7:33

 

Where are you, God?

I have felt that a lot over the past few days.

I mean I know, that He is there, I know that He loves me, but the deep wrenching pain that I have felt at the loss of my mother followed by the sudden personal illness I experienced, well, it has me feeling a little lost.

I have had an outpouring of support from family, friends and friends of my mother’s that I did not know, but it is not easing the pain much. 

My mother had suffered from Alzheimer’s disease for over a decade, so in reality I had lost her many years ago. 

But the anguish I felt holding her hand in her last few hours, receiving the phone call that she had passed, the pressure of making all of the arrangements and trying to accommodateeveryone was overwhelming. 

I am broken.

I know I angered some family members in the process, sorry/not sorry.

Some people didn’t understand why I chose my husband and myself to deliver her eulogy at all three services, those people didn’t know my mother, she would have been mortified to have a stranger speak about her as though they had been part of her life.

I am broken.

But I will heal.

I have heard from a significant number of people telling me they miss the daily bread. 

I am going back to one of my standby phrases, song reference: Even If by MercyMe: 
It's easy to sing

When there's nothing to bring me down

But what will I say

When I'm held to the flame

Like I am right now
I am broken.  
I am going to take the next 17 days to do some soul searching. 

I won’t be at work, I might not be on social media, I may not answer my phone or respond to text messages.

I will be back.

Stronger, because

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

I’m not strong

Finally, let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong.

- Ephesians 6:10 (CEV)

 

I have to confess something, and it’s a little weird.

I have been deceiving my friends and family for a long time.

You see, they all think that I am this super strong person that can handle anything that is thrown my way.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Earlier this year I was struggling with a lot going wrong in my world and I felt like some people knew what was going on and still expected me to shoulder their problems while dealing with my own. 
The past week has been a waterfall of tragedy and emotion, I am literally watching my mother die from complications of a fall compiled with her Alzheimer’s disease, and it is heart wrenching to watch her struggle for every breath.

Newsflash – I’m broken too, I’m not that strong.

I had to lean on God, and when I say lean on Him, I literally mean fall on the floor at His feet and give it all to Him because I just could not.

Song reference:

There's a name that can silence every fear

There's a love that embraces

The heartache, the pain and the tears

Through my faith and my doubting

I know one thing for sure

His word is unfailing

His promise secure

Everything will be alright

The whole world's in His hands

Your whole world's in His hands

In the darkness and the trials

He's faithful and He's true

The whole world's in His hands

Oh-oh oh-oh-oh

Everything will be alright

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Yeah

Father, You say everything is gonna be alright

But my circumstances say I won't last through the night

I need Your word to hold me now, need You to pull me through

I need a miracle, a breakthrough, I need You

They say You hold the whole universe in Your hand

But my world's falling apart like it is made of sand

Am I small enough to slip through the cracks?

Can You take my broken pieces and put them back?

Give me faith to believe You are on my side

Open my eyes to see You working in my life

Let the past remind me You never fail

Tell my soul "It is well" (oh)

Everything will be alright

The whole world's in His hands

Your whole world's in His hands

In the darkness and the trials

He's faithful and He's true

Your whole world's in His hands

Oh-oh oh-oh-oh

Everything will be alright (everything will be alright)

Oh-oh oh-oh-oh

Everything will be alright

Oh-oh oh-oh-oh (eh-yeh)

He's got the whole world in His hands

He's got the whole world in His hands

He's got the whole wide world in His hands
It is hard to believe that God can take our brokenness and turn it into good, but He can.

We probably won’t see it at first, it may take months or even years, but He will give us the strength we need to carry on.

I’m still here – that is your proof that God has made me strong.   

 

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in the presence of greatness

Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise!

- Psalm 95:2 (ESV)

 

This is a really powerful verse!

We are allowed, encouraged and welcomed into the presence of the King!

We can take everything, every little thing to our Father and He will listen, He is a wonderful Father.

Song reference:

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy

Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence

All of my gains now fade away

Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence

Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders

The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed

Here in Your presence, we are undone

Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one

Here in Your presence, all things are new

Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

Even when I am hurting, even when I am asking “why” while watching my mother suffer through her illness, I am always thankful for His presence in my life, because I would not have my life without Him.

 

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it’s really sad

So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.

- John 16:22 (NIV)

 

December can be a very trying month.

People suffer from seasonal affective disorder (depression associated with late autumn and winter and though to be caused by a lack of light), and dealing with holidays after loved ones are no longer here on earth.  
Personally I am dealing with my own grief right now, having placed my mother in hospice care yesterday.
I have known this day would come since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2008 but I guess I had always hoped that she would pass quickly and painlessly rather than have to endure the suffering that she has. 
The whole situation has me experiencing a whole gamut of emotions. 

We all deal with our depression, sadness and mourning in different ways, but one thing to remember is this – we have joy in Jesus.

This verse is set in the middle of the conversation that Jesus had with His disciples shortly before He was arrested, He is telling the disciples that He is going to die, but that they will see Him again.

He is telling them that it is OK for them to mourn, that when they see Him again, they will rejoice!

We can be assured by the words of Jesus that one day, we will see our loved ones again.

Someday we all will be reunited, not only with our own families and loved ones, but also with the people of God from all ages.

In heaven we will all be one loving family, a huge family, and we will spend our eternity in rich, unending fellowship with those we loved here on Earth.

Yes, it definitely is acceptable to mourn the passing of a loved one, we have to process these losses and still remember that we’ll be with them again.  
Our sorrow will turn to joy when we rest our gaze on the face of our Heavenly Father, and go running to His arms.

 

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wait for it

 The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. At the right time, I, the LORD, will make it happen.

- Isaiah 60:22 (NLT)

 

Patience is not one of my strong virtues, anyone that knows me will vouch for me on that.

Many times though, God tells me to wait.

All things happen in God’s timing, not ours.

We don’t always know what is right for us, but God does.

We may want that new job at a different company, but God knows that if we leave now we will miss a great opportunity, so we wait.

We desperately desire that brand new car or truck, but God knows that we are going to need that extra money for something far more critical in the future, so we wait.

We might have a yearning for something that seems so easy for someone else, but we struggle daily just to even keep praying for that event in our lives, but God has perfect timing for everything, so we wait. 
We watch loved ones struggle, their quality of life decreasing and the light in their eyes fading, yet God does not bring them home until He is ready.  

We will probably never understand why we have to wait, but God is going to make it happen, His way, in His timing.

It probably will be nothing like we expected but because we waited for God it will be 1000 times better.  

 

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one more thing

 I always thank my God for you and for the gracious gifts He has given you, now that you belong to Christ Jesus. Through Him, God has enriched your church in every way—with all of your eloquent words and all of your knowledge.

- 1 Corinthians 1:4-5 (NLT)

 

Last week we talked about being thankful for different things.

I want to bring up one more thing for which I am thankful – the pastors and leadership at my church home.

Pastors work way more than a 40 hour week.

Most of the time they don’t get to celebrate the holidays on the actual holiday with their families.

They go to be with people at all hours of the day and night, to sit with them when they are sick, to pray with them when they are lost.

The pastors and leadership at my church home have gone above and beyond expectations in taking care of their church.

I have learned so much from the sermons and the time spent with these people and their families.

I have experienced first hand one of the leaders literally dropping everything to be at my house when I was in need, at the hospital when I was sick.

These people have truly filled this verse, and I am thankful.

 

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still thankful

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 

Today is known as the biggest shopping day of the year.

It has been named “Black Friday” because historically on this day businesses would sell enough merchandise to “get out of the red” on their books and end the year strong.

It has morphed into an repulsive event with people fighting over items and just being ugly to one another (after just 12 hours prior talking about love and family and being thankful!)

I blame the Cabbage Patch Kids riots of 1983 for setting the stage for the craziness that we now know, but I was a fourteen year old in 1983 and my parents were not part of that craze. 

But I digress.

I am still thankful, but this verse about giving thanks in ALL circumstances?

That is a hard one.

How do we give thanks for the difficult things in life, the things that make us sad, the things that hurt, the things that feel like the world is coming down around us?

As I scrolled back through my posts over the years, I found this one to be especially poignant today, oddly enough on November 20, 2017 I used this same verse and here is what I had to say back then: 

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving day here in the U.S. and I am sure that many of you, myself included, are busy planning and preparing and perhaps traveling to celebrate this day with family and friends. 

As we prepare for the food, fellowship and football, don’t miss the greatest gift that you already have - Love.

Be thankful for your home – many are homeless.

Be thankful for food – many are hungry.

Be thankful for warm blankets and clothing – many are cold.

Be thankful for friends and family – many are alone.

Be thankful for pets – many have never known unconditional love.

Be thankful for courage – many live in fear.

Be thankful for freedom – many have died for your rights.

Be thankful for your car – many have to walk miles every day, no matter the weather.

Be thankful for children – many have been taken.

Be thankful for police, firemen, and EMTS – they are working while you enjoy your day.

Be thankful for the military – many will not be with their family and friends this year.

Be thankful for education – many don’t have the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for your faith – many are persecuted for their beliefs.

Be thankful for this email – many can’t read.

Be thankful for the annoying Christmas music that started November 1^st – many can’t hear.

Be thankful for your job – many are unable to find employment.

Be thankful for laughter – many know only pain and sorrow.

This year I think we can add to that: 
Be thankful for your health – many are sick. 

Be thankful for the storms you have overcome – many struggle with their storms.

Be thankful for your church – many have not found their place to worship.

Be thankful for technology – we would have lost touch with so many without the wonders of technology.

Be thankful for love – the love of God surpasses any other love we have ever felt, and there is no greater gift.

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Happy Thanksgiving

Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.

- 1 Chronicles 29:13 (NIV)

 

Today I am thankful for pretty much everything.

I look around the house and I see family gathered together to cook, eat, play games and praise God.

I am thankful that we have a family that still makes an effort to celebrate together, even though miles separate us at times.

I hope that everyone can enjoy a meal, maybe watch the parades or some football.

In the middle of the food and fun, remember to give thanks to God.

We wouldn’t have anything to celebrate if it weren’t for Him.

 

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planes, trains and automobiles

Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.

- Psalm 100:4

 

I should have named this one cars, trucks and motorcycles.

On this week’s challenge of finding something to be thankful for every day and focusing on how that something has been a blessing, today I choose transportation.

I am thankful for transportation.

This afternoon my husband and I will begin our journey to the great white north to spend Thanksgiving with his family.

This trip today almost did not happen for me, as my 91 year old mother who has Alzheimer’s disease fell yesterday morning and broke her right hip (broke her left one in June 2017), so I felt like I needed to stay here since she had surgery last night. 
After much conversation with the doctors and the hospital last night and this morning, we have determined that since I am not able to visit her at the hospital (or the skilled care facility) due to Covid restrictions, I am really of no use here, so I will go. 
I normally don’t look forward to the drive and this drive has been made in a car, in a truck and yes even on motorcycles. 

What I do look forward to is spending time with family. 
Family has always been important to me, and this year due to some health challenges it is more important than ever that I appreciate my family.

As we cross each state line I am thankful for whatever mode of transportation that is bringing us closer to our childhood homes. 
As we enter his parents’ house, I am thankful for the ability to spend this time with family.

As we worship with family on Sunday morning, I am thankful for the freedom to worship my Lord without fear.

Thankfulness is not just an emotion, it is a choice and a state of mind.

So take a moment now and ask yourself: What can I be thankful for?

How can I praise God’s name today?

Don’t be surprised to see your heart change as you do, because praise and thanksgiving is designed to take our eyes off of ourselves and place them on the One who has the power to change us.

 

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kingdom hearts

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.

- Hebrews 12:28 (NIV)

 

Yesterday I proposed a challenge to you this week, to find something to be thankful for every day, no matter how tiny it is, and focus on how that something has blessed you.

Today I choose to be thankful for hearts. 

Not the card game, not the candy and Valentines kind, but for kingdom hearts (not the action game or movie).

Jesus talks about the kingdom of God being with us, in our hearts.

When we accept Jesus as our Savior, we ask Him into our heart and we receive that kingdom of God that cannot be shaken or broken.

I am thankful for the hearts that Jesus has changed, for the people that have come into my life as a direct result of His work, I am thankful for the hearts of those who can see through the evil in this world to the good that still exists and for those who work endlessly to show others that we need to be thankful for what we have been given.

If you are reading this, I am thankful for your heart.

 

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brrrr it’s cold out there!

Our God has blessed the earth with a wonderful harvest!

- Psalm 67:6 (CEV)

 

Here we are, Thanksgiving week 2021.

Even though it has been a rough year for many, we still have a lot for which to be thankful.

Sometimes though we find it difficult to see these things when life throws us a curve ball and often we find ourselves trying to encourage others through a challenging situation, yet our words only hurt them more. 

Our God has blessed us, even when we don’t see it.

This week, I challenge you find something to be thankful for every day, no matter how tiny it is, and focus on how that something has blessed you.

Today I choose to be thankful for the change in the weather. 

Even though I don’t like cold, the change in seasons gives the earth a chance to regenerate and rebuild, and with the change of seasons comes life. 

We celebrate the birth of Jesus in this season, His birth brought us life.

While the cold air is chilling, the love of God warms our soul, and that is a blessing.

 

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through water and fire

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters,  I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

- Isaiah 43:1a-2

 

Indulge me for a moment while I say happy birthday to the love of my life, I hope today brings you so much happiness. ❤

I asked my husband what his favorite verse is because I wanted to honor him in my daily verse, after all, he is pretty special to me. 
He immediately talked about this verse, which also happens to be one of my favorites.

When we read Isaiah 43, we find that God promises to protect us from water and fire, and that we are His, He calls us by name, we are His own.

This is a promise from God, that we belong to Him.

God formed us and redeemed us, He will never ever abandon us.

No matter what challenges, trials, struggles or difficulties we face, He will deliver us and bring us to safety and victory. 
We can look throughout history and see the one constant, the one truth, God is always there.

Time and time again He has rescued His children, He will not forget us.

We know this to be true, because it is His promise, we know it from history and we know it by faith. 
He calls us by name, there is no way He will let us be overcome. 

 

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taking steps

You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.

- Jeremiah 29:13

 

A few years ago at an event held in a church, I witnessed a young autistic girl that kept asking her daddy “Where’s God?”.

She knew she was in a church and she had been taught that God can be found in the church.

Many times I hear people ask “Where was God when this happened?”.

People forget that He is with us always, even when bad things happen.

God is always there, we just need to let Him in, to seek comfort from Him.

Song reference: 
Oh God, You are my God

And I will ever praise you

Oh God, You are my God

And I will ever praise you

I will seek You in the morning

And I will learn to walk in Your ways

And step by step You'll lead me

And I will follow You all of my days

We won’t have to look far when we seek Him, He is waiting for us to let Him into our hearts. 
Where is God? He is right beside you, all you have to do is ask Him to come in. 

 

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rise up

Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it. (NIV) 

Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it. (ESV)

- Ezra 10:4 

 

This was an unusual verse that came across my desk, I was not sure how to use it, but somehow I knew that I need to find a way to post it.

So I did what every person does when they don’t understand something, I googled it! 
There are a lot of commentaries and explanations of the meaning of this verse, but John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible found in Bible Study tools it was broken down for me.  

Arise or rise up: Ezra was on his knees praying for guidance. 
this matter is in your hands: Ezra was a priest and he had the authority to put the law of God into execution.

we are with you: the people in the church were there to help him, he was not going to be doing anything on his own.

be strong and do it: his task was going to be tough and there would be some opposition to it, but he would be successful. 

Like Ezra, we often face things in our lives and the way we handle them does not bring us a lot of popularity votes, but when we handle these things with God in our hearts, we have His support and we have the support of other believers that we are doing the right thing, even when it’s ugly.

When we are faced with these challenges and need to make a decision, the best place to find answers is on our knees asking for God’s guidance just like Ezra did and more often than not, we will find the answers there. 

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wondering why

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.

- 1 Peter 3:18

 

This verse says a lot, I mean, Christ suffered – like really suffered tremendous pain like we have never experienced when He was crucified.

He didn’t suffer for sins that He had committed, but for the sins of the world.
That is my sin, your sin, our sin, every single sin, Christ took that sin upon His shoulders and died.

Died.  

Why?

To bring us to God.

To give us a chance to turn away from an eternity in Hell.

To show us what the love of the Father can do.

The Message translation of this verse is as follows: 
If with heart and soul you’re doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you’re still better off. Don’t give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They’ll end up realizing that they’re the ones who need a bath. It’s better to suffer for doing good, if that’s what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That’s what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others’ sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.

Do you know His name?

Do you know the Man that God raised from the dead so that you could enter His kingdom?

As followers of Christ we need to be ready to tell our story. 
It may not be glamourous (it probably isn’t), but it is our story and we need to share it so that others would come to God too.

 

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when we need help

Cry out, “Save us, God our Savior; gather us and deliver us from the nations, that we may give thanks to Your holy name, and glory in Your praise.”

- 1 Chronicles 16:35

 

Life is hard, the struggle is real, and there are times when we just want to give up.

But we can’t give up, there is something that is driving us forward, preventing us from withdrawing from the world.

It is those times that we need help, we need to cry out to God and ask for Him to rescue us.

Song reference: 
Father to the fatherless

Defender of the weak

Freedom for the prisoner

We sing

This is God in his holy place

This is God clothed in love and strength

Sing out, lift your voice and cry out

Awesome is our strong God, mighty is our God

With us in the wilderness

Faithful to provide

Every breath and every step

We see

This is God in his holy place

This is God clothed in love and strength

Sing out, lift your voice and cry out

Awesome is our strong God, mighty is our God

When we cry out to God, He does hear us and He is there for us.

God really will defend us and we find freedom in Him, God in His holy place.

He is a strong and mighty God.

When we find ourselves out of the shadow of the gloom that we are feeling we can be thankful that He really is our Deliverer.

 

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