forgive them

Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
- Colossians 3:13 (TLB)

You may have heard about the “Let Them Theory,” or seen the phrase on popular tattoos and T-shirts. "Let Them" is a mindset tool that encourages us to accept what we can’t control, especially in how we react to situations. It’s not about ignoring problems or people, but about acknowledging reality and choosing to respond with self-control. The theory is about reclaiming your power by focusing on what you can control—your own mindset and actions. Some versions also include a complementary "Let Me," which emphasizes focusing on your own choices and well-being, especially when you feel lonely or when others aren’t reciprocating.

I’d like to introduce another idea: “Forgive Them.” Forgiveness is difficult, but scripture teaches that it’s something we must do. There are things I still struggle to let go of because forgiveness feels impossible. Forgiving someone for the hurt they caused doesn’t mean you have to be close to them again—some people are toxic, and it’s okay not to keep them in your life. Some wounds are deep, affecting us spiritually and emotionally.

I’d like to think I’m a forgiving person, but I realize I may not be as forgiving as I’d like to believe. I once heard a pastor say, “Forgiveness is when you no longer wish ill against that person.” For some, I’m not sure I’m there yet; some pain feels like a mountain to cross. True forgiveness means wanting good for those who have hurt us.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. I had a friend who, for reasons unknown, decided to end our friendship. She avoids me, and it hurts. I’ve tried to talk to her, but it’s uncomfortable. Another friend hurt me deeply, but instead of hiding, she encourages open conversation as I work through forgiveness. It still hurts, but the process is different.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to be close to those who hurt you again. Some people are toxic, and it’s okay to keep your distance. Why is forgiveness so hard? Because we’re not perfect. We need to forgive in order to heal, but it’s a challenge. I’ve been told I can hold a grudge, and unfortunately, that’s true.

How should we respond to the pain of offense? If our identity is rooted in the love God has for us, we can reflect the nature of the Holy Spirit to others. Forgiveness isn’t about showing our own goodness, but about recognizing our daily need for Jesus. Holding grudges means we’ve forgotten our own need for mercy. Ask God for help—He will be there for you.

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Daily Inspiration from the Bible